High Blood Pressure

Charlee's Slice:
So it has been over a week since our last post. It’s just that time of the quarter when we get bogged down by projects and exams. Things have pretty crazy aside from school. I think more so for Rachel than myself. Here are a few things of mine worth noting.
I may or may not have been stood up. Cheeseburger guy never got back to me and I have had nothing but radio silence since valentines day. I don’t really feel like there is any loss there. I mean, I was flattered by his interest but a little disappointed by his lack of follow through. The same day I got stood up, I also heard from the guy I’ve been waiting to hear from for the last few weeks. Rachel and I decided that he delayed contact due to the eminent threat of valentines day since he waited till the day after to send me a message. Cant say I blame him. I have not heard from him since however, which is fine by me because I have been crazy busy and probably wouldn’t have found time to hang out with him anyway. Aside from two exams I’ve also been dealing with family drama centered around the death of my grandfather. He was a curmudgeon but I loved him. The funeral was last night, and there was a huge turn out. I guess they closed down the BINGO hall so the patrons and staff could attend the service. I can now also say I know what it is like to have my mother’s two ex-husbands, her married boyfriend, my aunts’ ex-husbands, soon to be ex-husbands, and soon to be ex boyfriends all in a 20’X20’ room together. Throw in a distant cousin who happens to fuck chickens and little girls and you find your self at one of my family parties. I forgot to mention my great uncle who told me the last 3 years of my life have all been for nothing because the theory of evolution is a fraud and amino acids have nothing to do with human existence. I guess he would rather believe that the great flood happened and the world was repopulated by an incestuous relationship between Noah’s family. This was the uncle whose grandson fucks chickens, so to each his own I guess…
The highlight of my week: The Helio Sequence and RJD2 concert. I hope the kid who split his head open on the stage while trying to crowd surf is okay. Really, what a fucking idiot.
Also, the lady bugs reappeared tonight. Hopefully they bring me luck this time. I realize it is probably the best infestation you could have, but it still creeps me out a little.
I just realized I forgot to mention the almost fight we got into the other night when we went out dancing. When fight-or-flight kicked in, I chose both. But since it was rachel's neck on the line, I will let her tell the story.


Rachel’s slice:

Well, with everyone else’s homework and midterm woes, I’m feeling the wonder of being an English major. I spend a few tormented hours writing an essay, turn it in, and get the A. On my English linguistics test, I got a 98.5%. Seems like I’m in the right major program. I went home to the parents’ house again this past weekend for writer’s seclusion. I had two essays due today, so I needed to be away from all temptations.

There were a few other reasons behind my secluded weekend. For one, the shower head in my bathroom up at school mysteriously broke sometime between Thursday night and Friday morning when I discovered the problem as water shot out in a rapid fire stream after the head flew off. Unlike my roommates, I don’t have a lovely boyfriend to shower with, so I had to rely on my parents. And as Charlee briefly mentioned, I was involved in a bit of an altercation, so I checked out for the weekend.

Thursday night is our Pre-Funk for the weekend night. We watch Grey’s Anatomy and then hit the clubs for a combo of 80s night dancing and hitting up any other place that strikes our fancy. This week, Erin insisted that we all wear heels. So, we danced our cheesy 80s hearts out, until Erin also decided that she wanted to dance to some hip-hop. Personally, I don’t mind just as long as I get to dance and have fun with the girls. Charlee hadn’t been to the new Hip-hop club either, so we all set out. This club is the kind with a dress code, and populated by Bros aplenty. These are not my scruffy Broman kind, they are pink-polo-popped collar variety. They dance all up on you, and you simply dance in the opposite direction of their advances. Well, after a half an hour or so of hardcore hip-hop grooves, the three of us took a breather near the windows since a crappy song was on. I took this time to give my feet a rest from the wicked arch I was subjecting them to. Then, of course, we had to hit the floor again since a great song came on. The three of us shimmied our way to the dance floor when suddenly a hand grabs me around the neck—and squeezes. I’m staring at a frizzy haired-redhead of an Amazon who glares at me and says, “Don’t you ever spread your legs at my man again.”

How to explain what was going through my head? There was no fear—in fact I fully intended to stand there until she realized the err in her judgment. I have flirted with many a boy, but this is the first time I have ever been truly innocent of the accusation. I had no thoughts of violence, in fact I was ready to argue with this girl and declare my innocence. Luckily, as my lymph nodes were taking a bruising, Charlee reached in and grabbed the girl’s arm, throwing it off. Charlee then booked it, since the girl grabbed at her hair. Charlee has great hair that I envy; I don’t blame her at all. Then it was Erin’s turn to step up for me—since apparently fights aren’t solved with rhetoric anymore. Erin’s a veteran at this, so she pushed me behind her and put the bitch in her place before we made our way from the scene. My ridiculously drunken attacker then threw(and missed) her drink at me. What a night.

This is also after a crazy week for me socially. First of all, I had my bar date with the Broman of my dreams Sunday night. We were in fine form, chatting like the first few times we went out when there was a certain flirty magic. Then, we ended up back at my place where I played bartender for him. He’s a closet Blue Hawaiian lover so I always make him one since he would never be caught dead ordering them in a bar. We then proceeded with the sloppiest double drunken seduction ever which included a second failed attempt at his ultimate Broman fantasy. I won’t go into exact details, but let’s just say that Charlee said it was gentlemanly of him to ask if he could enact the fantasy with me rather than just going for it. We had some execution problems, the result of which was a dissapointed Broman and my need to for sure wash my sheets.

There was another date with a different guy on Wednesday. But honestly, I don’t think he’s really that interested in me. I won’t go into any details until something juicy comes up or he becomes more of a serious interest. Let’s just say he spent most of the night telling me he had never met a girl like me before—which may or may not be a good thing. Especially since he looked rather uncomfortable while I had a heated debate with his roommate over whether men, if made to choose, would choose cheese over blowjobs. The roommate's argument for cheese: it's the backbone of the food pyramid--all other foods are just stacked on top. My argument for blow-jobs: obviously none of the guys involved in the discussion had recieved one from me before. (For the record, I asked the Broman about this. He said he's give up cheese for blow-jobs in a heartbeat).

And here’s a little shout-out to my favorite Physicist since he apparently clicked the link I sent him and is now a Pie Girl reader. Awwww! Now that is a good man. Special xoxo just for him.

XOXO, Rachel